Thursday, January 13, 2011

Moving right along. Or stuck in a square box?

Today I booked the shipping on the beautiful new mare!  I'm trying not to get excited but its really hard not to.  She's going to be a super fun project and she's going to be ALL MINE.  For the first time I will be able to take full responsibility for any success or failures, and be responsible for the outcome.  Slow and steady is how we'll proceed, but its going to be hard!  I think if she's what I think she might/could be I'll hang on to her until I finish college before I try to sell her.  I would like to see how far I (we) can get, and when you own the horse nobody can take/sell the ride out from under you.  

I have been having a really frustrating time at my internship, and I feel bad because there are so many nice people doing really great work.  I'm frustrated though because I'm supposed to be in the field getting experience (like the rest of my classmates are) and yet I'm stuck in a cubicle for most of the day doing cold call surveying or file management.  I have yet to meet a single client face to face.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to write 6 page papers this week about personal experiences at the job site.  I turned one in today that was thin to say the least.  I really had to stretch my "experience" to be able to write six pages about it, and now with the snow day that we got and class getting moved I basically have two days to "have an experience" worth writing about because I have a huge paper due Tuesday!  My advisor wasn't much help, he basically told me that he's sorry about the placement and that I might have to figure out an experience (that fits into the psychological model) from my past to write my next essay on.  Everyone else in the class gets to write about these rich and interesting experiences they are having and I'm stuck in a cubicle.  

Needless to say, today I went to work for an hour, got frustrated because there was nothing to do, and left to go do something more therapeutic (can you guess?).  Anyway I went out to the barn for a bit, got my debit card fixed (finally) and then went to TJMaxx to buy some workout pants.  I bought two pairs of awesome stretchy pants that are perfect, and I also found a super nice jacket (like the one I borrowed from Mom the entire break) for $20, marked down from $120.  The kicker is that the brand name is CB and so it has CB embroidered on the back of the collar and on the front left chest.  (For those of you who don't remember, C.B. was the yellow pony's very first nickname when she got to the farm.  It has stuck and when she's bad she still gets called that.  Anyway, I felt really good about those purchases, and even donated $5 to a Diabetes research foundation at checkout.  

Tonight I had the ambitious plan of doing two of my P90X workouts.  Don't know what got into me, just thought I should or could or wanted to try it.  I started with Kenpo X which is a mixed martial arts tape thats an hour long.  Its filled with all sorts of punches and kicks and other crazy cardio.  I enjoyed it but at the end didn't feel like stopping.  Well my body definitely felt like stopping, but I hadn't worked out all my frustration from the day yet so I put in Plyometrics X and kept going.  Well little did I know that Plyo is actually the hardest P90X workout that they made.  Needless to say I made it through about 15 minutes before my mind caught up with my body's exhaustion.

The way I figure is that its really hard to make a total overhaul of your habits instantly.  Its a recipe for failure.  I've been trying really hard to stay within the calorie guidelines I set for myself, but first and foremost I want to make a habit of working out as often as possible.  I forgot how good it feels to have a full body exhaustion.  I'll probably regret writing that tomorrow but oh well.  So for now I'm trying to eat healthy by buying fresh foods, having a high protein low fat diet, and not eating out at restaurants where I have a favorite item on the menu (the chances of it being low calorie are slim to none).

I will slowly be able to get those habits into place too but as long as I'm working hard in the other areas I will still see success.  I'm not expecting to lose a whole bunch of weight right away.  I'm not looking for a fad diet or a quick fix.  The goal is simply to get healthy and make a total lifestyle change.  I'm looking forward to getting into a full routine when spring rolls around and I don't have to spend 9 hours in a cubicle.  Oh and in case you were wondering there is NO WAY that is what I'll be doing after college....

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