Somehow its always easy to keep looking ahead for the next thing. We have this tendency to continuously plan and work and keep our "nose to the grindstone" as we run through life at a million miles per hour. Ferris Bueller once told us, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How often do you slow down your daily routine, slow down all the work you have been doing, and think about whether what you are doing is for the end or the means? It sounds silly because the means to an end has been so engrained in my of our minds for most of our lives, always working hard for the next thing, that we forget that we really only have this one chance at life. I think a lot about what I could possibly want to do with my life after I graduate college. At this point I've only found a few things that I know I wouldn't be happy doing, and putting the one thing I know I could wake up to every single day for the rest of my life on the back burner because its deemed a career with too long/hard hours and not enough reward.
Could you ever see me happy in a 9-5 desk job though? Sure there will always be the benefits of a job with a salary, but what cost should we allow at the expense of happiness and contentment?
My mare Aston is going to be really good for me because she really forces me to stop and think about NOW rather than a year from now. She needs me to have my head in the present so that I don't push her too hard or fast and to make sure I'm slow and correct in her training. On Friday I had a friend out to watch me ride Aston and the pony, and Aston decided it would be a good day to tell me how sore and stiff she is. Its her whole hind end, not one side or the other, so we determined that it is an overall soreness that she will probably need to work out of. I didn't work her very hard last week, as she is still not fit, but Grayson and I had both noticed that when she is alone and mad about it she will run up and down the fence line and slam on the breaks in each corner. Slamming on the breaks takes a lot of effort from her hind end, and as a result she showed a lot of stiffness. At this point I'm not worried about her overall health/soundness, but I am concerned that she could hurt herself in the future if she doesn't grow up a little bit. When she becomes too co-dependent she can become dangerous, so it is important that she realizes that I am her partner and not one of the other horses. Today I simply tied her to the hitching post, opened a book and sat with her for two hours before going on a walk with her around the property and throwing her back out in the field. She has come a long, long way since arriving in January, but she isn't going to be easy. Some days will just have to go back to that basic building of a relationship because she was so deprived of that part of her "childhood" that she is basically a 3 year old mentally. Sitting in her field with her can be just as beneficial as riding her. And yes, she is a resale project, but who knows when the next time I will be able to own my own horse will be. Its important to me that I form a relationship with her and do the best for her that I can possibly offer.
I may have the opportunity to get another job, and I think it would be good since my other does not have consistent hours. I do want to build relationships with other farms and make more connections in the area, and this may be the way to do it. It would be a simpler job, cleaning stalls and letting horses out, but its important to me to be able to give my horse the best I can, and that will include lessons and showing as well as saving money away for any kind of emergency that could arise. I just need to get in a good schedule in terms of the things I need to accomplish in a day. That includes going to class, doing my homework, riding 3 horses, and working at Blue Skies, building my photography, possibly this third job, and fitting in at least one hour a day for p90x.
Figure out what you want and do whatever is in your power to get it. If someone says its not possible, show them they are wrong instead of telling them. That's at least my approach to how I will achieve future success.
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